This little blog of mine has become seriously neglected over the past nine months. I blame this on the fact that in this time I've graduated, started a new job, moved, and started school (again), leaving me barely enough time to keep up on my favorite blogs, let alone to come up with the creative juices required to maintain this little blog of mine! But no more excuses, after finals next week, this blog is going to come back, in full force (hopefully!), starting with a head to toe makeover. Thank you, readers (and little blog of mine), for being so patient and for not giving up on me. I promise to try to be more attentive to my little piece of the blog world.
Over and out-
mojo
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
grandmas are special, especially mine
It's taken me quite some time to feel like I could sit and write about my Mimi and even as I write this, I'm not entirely sure that this is something I can do [fast forward 22 hours and I've written one sentence, point proven]. My grandma was and is the strongest person that I know. On a side note, I hate talking about people that I care about in past tense because, regardless of the circumstances, at times it makes it seem like, while they may not be here anymore, that they're no longer a part of your life, which, at least in my case, is so far from the truth, my grandmother will always be apart of my life, and she will always be so so very special to me, whether she is physically here with me or not.
My grandma was an amazing woman who lead a long life full of lots of love. As the matriarch of this family, she taught us many things, but most importantly, she taught us how to love and the importance of family. When I think about my Mimi, I think of summers spent at my parents, just Mim, Riah and I while mom and dad were working. I think of running errands with Mim and ri, spending our "mad money" that mom left for us on lunch or ice cream. When the world gets complicated, boys are causing trouble and girls are being mean, I would give anything to have my childhood back, and to be able to spend everyday with my grandma and my baby sister, enjoying the simplest things about life, living up every single day. Looking back, some of my fondest memories revolve around riding in my grandma's car, planting flowers in the urns at the cemetary, being chased away by fire ants, watching my grandma run out of the pond after being nibbled on by fish (who would've thought the ol' lady could run?)... These are just a few of the countless fond memories I have of time spent with my grandmother, memories that I'll always have, especially on the days, like today, where I miss her a little more than usual. Memories that no one can or will ever take away from me, memories that mean more to me than any physical worldly possession ever could.
We've been having some unusually warm weather here recently and although it makes me happy because winter seems to be so long and boring in the Midwest, I can't help but feel a slight twinge of sadness every day when I bask in the warm rays as I think of my Mimi who loved the sunshine, but didn't make it through the winter to see this weather. I thank the man upstairs every day for the good weather, right before I thank my Mimi and Eethie for working their magic with the big guy upstairs, because I truly believe that I not only have the two best guardian angels pullin some serious strings up there, but that these days are truly a gift from God that I am so very thankful for.
On days like today, when I feel a little more empty than usual, everything around me seems to make me miss my Mim. I miss everything about my grandma. I miss her hugs that would last longer than any normal hug from anyone else, I miss her kisses that came in multitudes, kiss after kiss- she could never be the first to stop kissing and she couldn't be the first to let go of a hug. I miss hearing her say 'I love you darling, so very much'. I miss her thanking everyone, for absolutely everything- you kiss her forehead and tell her you love her and she thanks you, she seriously is the most precious lady that I'll ever have the pleasure of knowing or having in my life. I miss her house and the way that everything smelled like her. I miss family sundays, which will never be the same without my Mimi and Eethie there. I miss holding her arm or hand to walk her to and from the car, driving her to the doctor, taking her to the hospital to visit with Eethie. I miss talking to her on the phone, telling her about my day, telling her how discouraged school is making me-but mostly, I miss hearing her tell me 'I'm so very proud of you, please don't ever forget that'. I miss my rock, I miss my biggest fan. I miss my Grandma, and I always will.
The world lost an amazing woman the day that my grandmother left us, but this family and those fortunate enough to know my grandma were blessed with time spent with such a precious, loving, kind and beautiful woman. There will always be a piece of my heart that is missing due to the loss of both my Mimi and my Eethie, but I know that no matter where I go, they're never far and they're always supporting me through everything, just as they always have, no matter what.
Eethie-
I can't believe you've been gone for almost three months, but I know that you're free of pain and adjusting well to being with those we've loved and lost. Keep an eye on my Mim for me. I love you, so much.
Mim-
I can't believe that you've been gone for almost two months! 7 weeks without you, and I gotta say, it hasn't been easy adjusting to a completely different life without you two crazies running around :) I strive every day to be a better person and to make you proud, hopefully I succeed some day ;) I love you, so much, and I hope you're lovin on that baby up there. Watch over us and guide us, but I already know you will. I'll miss you so much, forever, but my love for you outweighs anything else. Thank you for everything Mim, I am so blessed because of you and for having you. I love you, forever.
My grandma was an amazing woman who lead a long life full of lots of love. As the matriarch of this family, she taught us many things, but most importantly, she taught us how to love and the importance of family. When I think about my Mimi, I think of summers spent at my parents, just Mim, Riah and I while mom and dad were working. I think of running errands with Mim and ri, spending our "mad money" that mom left for us on lunch or ice cream. When the world gets complicated, boys are causing trouble and girls are being mean, I would give anything to have my childhood back, and to be able to spend everyday with my grandma and my baby sister, enjoying the simplest things about life, living up every single day. Looking back, some of my fondest memories revolve around riding in my grandma's car, planting flowers in the urns at the cemetary, being chased away by fire ants, watching my grandma run out of the pond after being nibbled on by fish (who would've thought the ol' lady could run?)... These are just a few of the countless fond memories I have of time spent with my grandmother, memories that I'll always have, especially on the days, like today, where I miss her a little more than usual. Memories that no one can or will ever take away from me, memories that mean more to me than any physical worldly possession ever could.
We've been having some unusually warm weather here recently and although it makes me happy because winter seems to be so long and boring in the Midwest, I can't help but feel a slight twinge of sadness every day when I bask in the warm rays as I think of my Mimi who loved the sunshine, but didn't make it through the winter to see this weather. I thank the man upstairs every day for the good weather, right before I thank my Mimi and Eethie for working their magic with the big guy upstairs, because I truly believe that I not only have the two best guardian angels pullin some serious strings up there, but that these days are truly a gift from God that I am so very thankful for.
On days like today, when I feel a little more empty than usual, everything around me seems to make me miss my Mim. I miss everything about my grandma. I miss her hugs that would last longer than any normal hug from anyone else, I miss her kisses that came in multitudes, kiss after kiss- she could never be the first to stop kissing and she couldn't be the first to let go of a hug. I miss hearing her say 'I love you darling, so very much'. I miss her thanking everyone, for absolutely everything- you kiss her forehead and tell her you love her and she thanks you, she seriously is the most precious lady that I'll ever have the pleasure of knowing or having in my life. I miss her house and the way that everything smelled like her. I miss family sundays, which will never be the same without my Mimi and Eethie there. I miss holding her arm or hand to walk her to and from the car, driving her to the doctor, taking her to the hospital to visit with Eethie. I miss talking to her on the phone, telling her about my day, telling her how discouraged school is making me-but mostly, I miss hearing her tell me 'I'm so very proud of you, please don't ever forget that'. I miss my rock, I miss my biggest fan. I miss my Grandma, and I always will.
The world lost an amazing woman the day that my grandmother left us, but this family and those fortunate enough to know my grandma were blessed with time spent with such a precious, loving, kind and beautiful woman. There will always be a piece of my heart that is missing due to the loss of both my Mimi and my Eethie, but I know that no matter where I go, they're never far and they're always supporting me through everything, just as they always have, no matter what.
Eethie-
I can't believe you've been gone for almost three months, but I know that you're free of pain and adjusting well to being with those we've loved and lost. Keep an eye on my Mim for me. I love you, so much.
Mim-
I can't believe that you've been gone for almost two months! 7 weeks without you, and I gotta say, it hasn't been easy adjusting to a completely different life without you two crazies running around :) I strive every day to be a better person and to make you proud, hopefully I succeed some day ;) I love you, so much, and I hope you're lovin on that baby up there. Watch over us and guide us, but I already know you will. I'll miss you so much, forever, but my love for you outweighs anything else. Thank you for everything Mim, I am so blessed because of you and for having you. I love you, forever.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
ohana
"Ohana means family; family means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten"
-Lilo and Stitch
The month of December was a very hard time for me and my family. Meet my grandma (Mimi) [on the right] and her sister, Aunt Ruthie (Eethie) [on the left].
Mimi is 89 and Aunt Ruthie, 84. These two ladies are the strongest women I've ever met and I'm not only saying that because they are my own, I really mean that. I have been blessed with countless memories and countless years with both of these women and I am so thankful that God put them in my life, for they have taught me many lessons about life, love, family and everything in between. Throughout the fall, Aunt Ruthie was in and out of the hospital with several lung infections. During her 2nd to last stay, the ER doctor revealed that her Abdominal Aortic Aneurism had grown to 9cm. This was the first time that the majority of our family learned of Aunt Ruthie's aneurism that she had been hiding for over 6 years. This inoperable aneurism would be what would take Eethie's life, in the end, but she lived such a large chunk of time, living her life and loving on those around her- myself included. On Christmas Eve, Aunt Ruthie began her last stay in the hospital with what seemed like her 100th lung infection. During this time we also brought Mimi home from the hospital after a lung infection hospitalized her. In Mimi's case, renal failure and congestive heart failure lead her doctors to suggest hospice care at her house, because this is where she truly wished to be. This would be the last time that my Mimi and Eethie would spend together-
The next morning Eethie would head to the hospital for her last 5 days of fighting. The two would continue on with as much normalcy as possible, as family members were constantly bustling about between Mimi's house and the hospital where Eethie was staying.
No matter how much time you're given with your loved ones, when you know that the end is possible, that the end is coming, it's never enough. I spent every day with my Eethie, sitting on her bed, laughing with her, making (little did I know at the time) the last memories that she and I would ever have together. I am so very thankful for the extra time, because it made me appreciate this woman more than I previously had, but, mark my words- I have never taken this woman for granted. This woman, through the hard times, showed me the most unconditional form of love that I could have ever hoped for, and over the years, taught me more about myself than I could have learned on my own. So- this is for you, Eethie. This is for having the most kick-ass guardian angel, guiding me, loving me, and giving me strength. The days since you've left have been mostly beautiful, warm for this time of year with at least a little peek of sunshine almost everyday. And every day that I wake up to a beautiful day with the sun shining down on me, all I could think about was you, working your magic with the big guy upstairs to send us your love in a visible form. Thank you- for everything. All of the hugs, kisses and laughter, even the tears, for they have helped to shape me into the woman that I am today. I will always miss you, but I will keep your memory close to me, fondly recalling the times we spent together. I hope you're not giving the big guy upstairs too much trouble and that you're quickly becoming re-acquainted with those that we've lost, watching over those of us who are left behind to muddle through life without all of you. I already know that you're watching over Mimi, giving her the strength to get through, day to day, helping her to make the small amounts of progress that she makes on a daily basis. I also know that you miss your sister, your best friend and your confidant- but I ask that you have a little patience and that you help her to get through this time without your presence, because you will be together again.
I'm drawn to Disney quotes to express losing you, I know you wouldn't mind- though they were not your favorite, I know you had a soft spot for a cute and cuddly Disney movie. As Rafiki says in the Lion King "No, look harder. You see- he lives within you", you will forever live on inside the lives of those you touched, forever in the hearts of those whom you loved and whom loved you most. This is where you will always be, in my heart, a place so very precious where the space is small and limited to those of most importance.
I can't believe it's been two weeks since we said "See you later" to you, Eethie. Hopefully the coming weeks will bring peace towards your absence and strength for Mimi. Words cannot express how much we miss you, but they cannot express how much you mean to us, either. God gained an ornery one on December 29th, that's for sure- but we gained the best guardian angel that any one could ask for. Thank you, for everything Auntie Ruthie, I can never tell you how thankful we are for you and how much we truly love you. Give us strength, fill our hearts with love and guide us through these uncertain times. Rest in peace Eethie, you're finally free from pain and free from worry, watching over those you love most, and we couldn't be happier to know that you are finally at peace. We love you, so much Eethie.
And to my Mimi, stay strong. You show so much progress every single day, even on days where I don't get to see you, I can hear it in your voice. We love you, Mimi, and are also so very thankful for you and for everything that you've given to us- the most important being love and a loving family. Stay strong Mim, we love you, so much.
Be blessed, be strong, and be loved, ladies!
mojo
-Lilo and Stitch
The month of December was a very hard time for me and my family. Meet my grandma (Mimi) [on the right] and her sister, Aunt Ruthie (Eethie) [on the left].
No matter how much time you're given with your loved ones, when you know that the end is possible, that the end is coming, it's never enough. I spent every day with my Eethie, sitting on her bed, laughing with her, making (little did I know at the time) the last memories that she and I would ever have together. I am so very thankful for the extra time, because it made me appreciate this woman more than I previously had, but, mark my words- I have never taken this woman for granted. This woman, through the hard times, showed me the most unconditional form of love that I could have ever hoped for, and over the years, taught me more about myself than I could have learned on my own. So- this is for you, Eethie. This is for having the most kick-ass guardian angel, guiding me, loving me, and giving me strength. The days since you've left have been mostly beautiful, warm for this time of year with at least a little peek of sunshine almost everyday. And every day that I wake up to a beautiful day with the sun shining down on me, all I could think about was you, working your magic with the big guy upstairs to send us your love in a visible form. Thank you- for everything. All of the hugs, kisses and laughter, even the tears, for they have helped to shape me into the woman that I am today. I will always miss you, but I will keep your memory close to me, fondly recalling the times we spent together. I hope you're not giving the big guy upstairs too much trouble and that you're quickly becoming re-acquainted with those that we've lost, watching over those of us who are left behind to muddle through life without all of you. I already know that you're watching over Mimi, giving her the strength to get through, day to day, helping her to make the small amounts of progress that she makes on a daily basis. I also know that you miss your sister, your best friend and your confidant- but I ask that you have a little patience and that you help her to get through this time without your presence, because you will be together again.
I'm drawn to Disney quotes to express losing you, I know you wouldn't mind- though they were not your favorite, I know you had a soft spot for a cute and cuddly Disney movie. As Rafiki says in the Lion King "No, look harder. You see- he lives within you", you will forever live on inside the lives of those you touched, forever in the hearts of those whom you loved and whom loved you most. This is where you will always be, in my heart, a place so very precious where the space is small and limited to those of most importance.
I can't believe it's been two weeks since we said "See you later" to you, Eethie. Hopefully the coming weeks will bring peace towards your absence and strength for Mimi. Words cannot express how much we miss you, but they cannot express how much you mean to us, either. God gained an ornery one on December 29th, that's for sure- but we gained the best guardian angel that any one could ask for. Thank you, for everything Auntie Ruthie, I can never tell you how thankful we are for you and how much we truly love you. Give us strength, fill our hearts with love and guide us through these uncertain times. Rest in peace Eethie, you're finally free from pain and free from worry, watching over those you love most, and we couldn't be happier to know that you are finally at peace. We love you, so much Eethie.
And to my Mimi, stay strong. You show so much progress every single day, even on days where I don't get to see you, I can hear it in your voice. We love you, Mimi, and are also so very thankful for you and for everything that you've given to us- the most important being love and a loving family. Stay strong Mim, we love you, so much.
Be blessed, be strong, and be loved, ladies!
mojo
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
8 more days of class, 3 days of finals-- christmas break, here i come!! in honor of my first partial day back in the swing of classes, i thought i'd post some random stuff-
1.) i hate texting lingo- you'll never catch me sending an 'lol', 'k' or 'lmao' text- if i do, i'm probably either a.) annoyed or b.) super pissed so you'd better run for the hills.
2.) there is no college team that i dislike more than Purdue- boiler down
3.) trying to come up with lists and/or ideas for birthdays or christmas are the hardest things for me to do
4.) i'm convinced that anyone and everyone around can tell when it's that time of the month for me because i'm constantly afraid that i'll be showing
5.) nail bitters are one of my biggest pet peeves
6.) i don't watch a lot of actual tv, but i do catch up on some missed tv online
7.) i can find anything to keep me from doing an ounce of homework or studying
8.) i write my best papers the night before something is due and when i haven't read the required reading
9.) i have been in school for forever, it seems, and i still don't know the best way to study for an exam
10.) i am 5 short months away from graduating and i have no clue what i want to do post-graduation
11.) my friends and family mean the world to me but i become slightly overwhelmed upon first spending time with them
12.) going along with what i just mentioned, after being around friends/family for more than 3 days, going back to my house and spending lots of time by myself makes me extremely lonely and very homesick
13.) i am in need of a break, desperately, a break longer than 3 school days
1.) i hate texting lingo- you'll never catch me sending an 'lol', 'k' or 'lmao' text- if i do, i'm probably either a.) annoyed or b.) super pissed so you'd better run for the hills.
2.) there is no college team that i dislike more than Purdue- boiler down
3.) trying to come up with lists and/or ideas for birthdays or christmas are the hardest things for me to do
4.) i'm convinced that anyone and everyone around can tell when it's that time of the month for me because i'm constantly afraid that i'll be showing
5.) nail bitters are one of my biggest pet peeves
6.) i don't watch a lot of actual tv, but i do catch up on some missed tv online
7.) i can find anything to keep me from doing an ounce of homework or studying
8.) i write my best papers the night before something is due and when i haven't read the required reading
9.) i have been in school for forever, it seems, and i still don't know the best way to study for an exam
10.) i am 5 short months away from graduating and i have no clue what i want to do post-graduation
11.) my friends and family mean the world to me but i become slightly overwhelmed upon first spending time with them
12.) going along with what i just mentioned, after being around friends/family for more than 3 days, going back to my house and spending lots of time by myself makes me extremely lonely and very homesick
13.) i am in need of a break, desperately, a break longer than 3 school days
Saturday, November 5, 2011
can't stop, won't stop
I am constantly pushing away boys who actually care because I am still in love with the one who doesn't.
It hurt me real bad when you left. I'm glad you got out, but I miss you. I've had a hole in my heart for so long. But I've learned to fake it and just smile along.
Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom and hurting the only ones you love, to realize what you have become is not what you planned, and who you are is not who you like.
You showed me how to face the truth. Everything that's good in me, I owe all to you.
Sometimes no matter how much you like someone, they're just not good for you.
Time doesn't heal you when you're not ready to move on.
I believe in soul mates and in love. I think there are people who come in your life that are supposed to be there for a
reason, even if it's just for a short amount of time.
It's hard to wait around for something that could never actually happen. But it's even harder to give up, when you
know it's everything you want.
It hurt me real bad when you left. I'm glad you got out, but I miss you. I've had a hole in my heart for so long. But I've learned to fake it and just smile along.
Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom and hurting the only ones you love, to realize what you have become is not what you planned, and who you are is not who you like.
You showed me how to face the truth. Everything that's good in me, I owe all to you.
Sometimes no matter how much you like someone, they're just not good for you.
Time doesn't heal you when you're not ready to move on.
I believe in soul mates and in love. I think there are people who come in your life that are supposed to be there for a
reason, even if it's just for a short amount of time.
It's hard to wait around for something that could never actually happen. But it's even harder to give up, when you
know it's everything you want.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
as fall break has finally come to a close, i have officially completed 1/4 of my senior year of undergrad- eeeeeeee! i'm as happy as a clam and i cannot wait to get at least the rest of this semester over. as excited as i am, i'm also very uncertain as to what i'm going to do with myself in 8 months when the real world comes calling...hopefully between then and now i can get things figured out, hopefully i can finally decide on something instead of shuffling between careers and schools as frequently as i change my underwear. you probably think i'm kidding, but i'm straight serious y'all. as much as i'm ready for all of this to be over and to be out there doing my thing, i can't help but to feel slightly sentimental about the things going on in my life right now.
so blessed and so very thankful-
be loved, be blessed and be healthy, ladies-
mojo
- It's my senior year- my very last year of being an undergrad, my very last year at MC with my friends, with the faculty who have become mentors and friends. My very last chance to do all of the things that I'm going to look back on someday, when I'm much older, with fond memories of times with both new and old friends doing all sort of things, staying out too late and walking home at 3:30 a.m. in the pitch a$$ dark night with girls who would eventually become my best friends and better halves. I was very skeptical, at first, about this place, this small town and small school atmosphere because it reminded me a lot of my hometown and of my high school. I love my hometown, don't get me wrong, but it's the kind of small where you have to drive 30 minutes to get to a mall or to a store other than Wal Mart (which I HATE) so, although I will visit because my family still resides in the area, I can't see myself settling someplace so small, someplace like my hometown or my collegetown. In my 3 years here I have met some of the most amazing, most beautiful people who have had such a significant impact on my life. I came to this place with a strong friend base from home, but I gained an even stronger base of friends at MC. These girls, and guys, have been there, through failed exams, messy breakups, family drama, 4 am firedrills, fieldtrips resulting in being a$$ deep in mud, late night study sessions and hours on end with no power and no internet. And for these individuals and memories that I'll never forget, I am so blessed and so thankful.
- Baby sister is 1/4 of the way done with her first year of IU!! Yaaaaay baby sister :) I'm sooo proud of you! Also- I'd like to know where our youth went? Watching disney channel movies without you is a.) not any fun and b.) sad
- All my munchkins are pretty much in school now- eeeeeeekkkk!! where did my cute little babies gooo?? and I really would like to know why I can't just pull them from school to stay home with me all day? How important can pre-school be anyway? :)
- Family- this is pretty self-explanatory as far as my family is concerned but I'd just like to re-iterate just how much each and every one of you means to me. I am so blessed to have such a loving family and to have such a strong bond with my family.
so blessed and so very thankful-
be loved, be blessed and be healthy, ladies-
mojo
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
coming live to you via blogger mobile
first thoughts about this new app-
1.) took y'all long enough to develop this sucker, I've been waiting months to be able to update my blog on the go!
2.) I don't like that I can't use my full keyboard because this app doesn't flip when I turn my device sideways...poo
3.) I haven't figured everything out about this yet, but I'm not liking the fact that I can't read my favorite blogs, I can just post in my own...come on google- fix this, please :)
in other news- this past weekend was a blast, not nearly long enough, as usual, but I got to spend lots of time with my other half [bee :)] and also with my family and my best buddy, K., so, all in all, good weekend, not long enough. story of my life.
be safe, be blessed, and be loved, ladies
mojo
1.) took y'all long enough to develop this sucker, I've been waiting months to be able to update my blog on the go!
2.) I don't like that I can't use my full keyboard because this app doesn't flip when I turn my device sideways...poo
3.) I haven't figured everything out about this yet, but I'm not liking the fact that I can't read my favorite blogs, I can just post in my own...come on google- fix this, please :)
in other news- this past weekend was a blast, not nearly long enough, as usual, but I got to spend lots of time with my other half [bee :)] and also with my family and my best buddy, K., so, all in all, good weekend, not long enough. story of my life.
be safe, be blessed, and be loved, ladies
mojo
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