changes

This little blog of mine has become seriously neglected over the past nine months. I blame this on the fact that in this time I've graduated, started a new job, moved, and started school (again), leaving me barely enough time to keep up on my favorite blogs, let alone to come up with the creative juices required to maintain this little blog of mine! But no more excuses, after finals next week, this blog is going to come back, in full force (hopefully!), starting with a head to toe makeover. Thank you, readers (and little blog of mine), for being so patient and for not giving up on me. I promise to try to be more attentive to my little piece of the blog world.

Over and out-

mojo

as fall break has finally come to a close, i have officially completed 1/4 of my senior year of undergrad- eeeeeeee! i'm as happy as a clam and i cannot wait to get at least the rest of this semester over. as excited as i am, i'm also very uncertain as to what i'm going to do with myself in 8 months when the real world comes calling...hopefully between then and now i can get things figured out, hopefully i can finally decide on something instead of shuffling between careers and schools as frequently as i change my underwear. you probably think i'm kidding, but i'm straight serious y'all. as much as i'm ready for all of this to be over and to be out there doing my thing, i can't help but to feel slightly sentimental about the things going on in my life right now.

1. It's my senior year- my very last year of being an undergrad, my very last year at MC with my friends, with the faculty who have become mentors and friends. My very last chance to do all of the things that I'm going to look back on someday, when I'm much older, with fond memories of times with both new and old friends doing all sort of things, staying out too late and walking home at 3:30 a.m. in the pitch a$$ dark night with girls who would eventually become my best friends and better halves. I was very skeptical, at first, about this place, this small town and small school atmosphere because it reminded me a lot of my hometown and of my high school. I love my hometown, don't get me wrong, but it's the kind of small where you have to drive 30 minutes to get to a mall or to a store other than Wal Mart (which I HATE) so, although I will visit because my family still resides in the area, I can't see myself settling someplace so small, someplace like my hometown or my collegetown. In my 3 years here I have met some of the most amazing, most beautiful people who have had such a significant impact on my life. I came to this place with a strong friend base from home, but I gained an even stronger base of friends at MC. These girls, and guys, have been there, through failed exams, messy breakups, family drama, 4 am firedrills, fieldtrips resulting in being a$$ deep in mud, late night study sessions and hours on end with no power and no internet. And for these individuals and memories that I'll never forget, I am so blessed and so thankful.
2. Baby sister is 1/4 of the way done with her first year of IU!! Yaaaaay baby sister :) I'm sooo proud of you! Also- I'd like to know where our youth went? Watching disney channel movies without you is a.) not any fun and b.) sad 
3. All my munchkins are pretty much in school now- eeeeeeekkkk!! where did my cute little babies gooo?? and I really would like to know why I can't just pull them from school to stay home with me all day? How important can pre-school be anyway? :)
4. Family- this is pretty self-explanatory as far as my family is concerned but I'd just like to re-iterate just how much each and every one of you means to me. I am so blessed to have such a loving family and to have such a strong bond with my family.

 love, Love, LOVE my life, so so so much right now. Even when things are crazy hectic (like now) and I'm stressed to the max (like now)- I wouldn't change a thing.

so blessed and so very thankful-

be loved, be blessed and be healthy, ladies-

mojo

tragedy

tragedy strikes again and once again, hits very, very close to home. 5 innocent lives were lost this weekend and at least 100 people have been hospitalized/treated for injuries sustained in a freak accident that would bring any normal person to tears simply by viewing the footage of the accident happening.  in all of this, a classmate of mine was lost, but will never be forgotten. please say a prayer for those affected by this tragedy and be thankful that good, honest and caring people still exist in this world. in a time of mass chaos and unforeseen circumstances, brave individuals stepped out to help save countless people. to those who dashed into the chaos, headstrong and fearless, thank you for your bravery and for your service to those in need. for those who lost a friend or loved one, be strong and never ever forget you friend or loved one, for they will always remain in your heart. continue to pray for strength for those recovering and healing in the aftermath of such a tragic event. 5 lives were lost, but 5 people will never be forgotten. the events of this weekend remind me how proud i am to be a member of this glorious state and to be a member of this wonderful country where, despite differences, we can still pull together to help in times of need.

on a lighter note, my birthday weekend was a wonderful success :) thank you to all who could be there with me. i love you all more than you'll ever know.

be strong, be brave and be beautiful-

love,

mojo

birthday!

happy birthday to me!!! :)

today is my birthday! yeeee-haw!! and no, in case you were wondering, i don't feel any older. i just got off the phone with my brother, who insisted that i should have had a margarita before work this morning because that would have set the day off on the right foot. i think a margarita at 7:45 AM makes you an alcoholic, or just crazy, J, but thanks anyway ;)  thank you to everyone who has wished me a happy birthday and for everyone who has taken the time out of their day to call, text or send me a sweet birthday message. birthday's are my favorite because they remind me of how truly lucky i am to be surrounded by such amazing and loving people, so- thank you all, so very much!! 7.5 hours stand between me and the end of this work day/work week. i'm headed home tonight to go out for dinner with my family and i couldn't be happier! and!! tomorrow night i'm headed out with my favorite people- my girlies and meg!! sooooooo excited!! and!!! saturday night is the night for a home style shindig at my place, it's gonna be a good time, that's all i can say!! and finally, sunday my smooch and i will celebrate our birthdays together. i love that little munchkin so very much and i can't wait to celebrate with her!!

have a fabulous thursday all. be safe, be beautiful and be loved.

love,
mojo

just a small town girl

p.s. i'll post some text later, promise ;)

love,
mojo

i never told you

i just held it in, so now i miss everything about you.

another day in the life.... here's what today's like:

*side note, i had this HUGE post prepared, and blogger crashed on me. fml. i'll work on getting the rest up later



And nobody knows that I still fall asleep thinking about you.

When I'm with you, I am calm.

There is no feeling, except the extremes of fear and grief, that do not find relief in music.

I wish I could've been the girl who you loved that finally loved you back.

Time passes too quickly when we're together and too slowly when we're apart. I never knew that time could change forever, until you stole my heart.

I don't want to live the rest of my life thinking about you and dreaming of what might have been if we would have stayed together in spite of the miles that separate us. I can't live my life happily knowing you're with someone else. That would kill a part of me. What we have is rare. It's too beautiful to just throw it away. I don't want it to end this way. I don't want it to end at all. I can't force you to stay with me, but no matter what happens in my life, I'll never forget my time with you

I'd like to go anywhere with you, anywhere but here

Everyday I smile and act like nothing's wrong. It's called putting everything aside and simply being strong.

Never love anybody who treats you like you're ordinary.

At the end of the day, you've got to focus on the things that bring you together not the forces that separate you.

I thought a broken heart was the worst feeling possible, but I was wrong. Regrets are sitting right before it.

Your eyes are by far the sweetest stars I've ever seen.

Wish you were here. Wish I was there. Wish it was different. Wish wishes came true.

_____________________________

in the mean time, check out my tumblr:

http://livethelifeyou-love.tumblr.com/

love,
mojo

life

what a life i live.

i miss you. i miss being happy. i miss the part of me you took when everything ended. i miss having someone to talk to. i miss having someone to believe me; someone to believe in me. i miss feeling like i'm a part of something. i miss feeling accepted. i miss the sense of internal sunshine. i miss how happy the simplest things made me. i miss how beautiful life used to be. i miss who i used to be. i miss who you used to be. i miss my life.

i hate the way things are. i hate the hurt. i hate the tears. i hate the fact that i have to bite my lips to contain these tears. i hate that i lied. i hate that this ugly person became me. i hate not knowing who i am. i hate being your friend. i hate thinking about you with anyone else. i hate goodbyes. i hate watching you leave. i hate knowing that you're moving on and i'm not. i hate your half-ass apologies. i hate that i brought all of this upon myself. i hate that i brought all of this upon you and g and s. i hate how stupid i was. i hate how empty i feel. i hate who i am and the way that my life is. i hate listening to songs with you in the car, singing the lyrics that directly apply to the way that i'm feeling- knowing that you don't care anymore. i hate how i can't focus anymore. i hate that my life feels so empty and meaningless.i hate the crying. i hate the screaming. i hate the nightmares. i hate waking up in the morning  thinking you're still mine and realizing you're not. but most of all- i hate myself.

i want the pain to stop. i want you to be able to trust me. i want g and s to be able to trust me and to not hate me. i want to deal with this on my own time and in my own way without all these people pushing themselves on me. i want you in my life- even if you have to be my friend. i want you to be happy. i want you to know that you're loved, every day. i want you to know that i love you, every day. i want you to know that i'll always be here. always. i want to be able to feel again. i want to be myself again. i want the tears to stop. i want the nightmares to stop. i want to stop feeling so empty and lifeless. i want to love myself again. i want to be a better person. i want to be someone my nieces and nephews are proud to look up to. i want to have a better relationship with my sisters- i want my baby sister to look up to me. i want to be proud of myself. i want you to be proud of me. i want you to know how sorry i am. but most of all- i want my sense of normalcy back. i want to be me again. i want to be happy. i want to feel loved. i want to smile and mean it.

love,
mojo