It's taken me quite some time to feel like I could sit and write about my Mimi and even as I write this, I'm not entirely sure that this is something I can do [fast forward 22 hours and I've written one sentence, point proven]. My grandma was and is the strongest person that I know. On a side note, I hate talking about people that I care about in past tense because, regardless of the circumstances, at times it makes it seem like, while they may not be here anymore, that they're no longer a part of your life, which, at least in my case, is so far from the truth, my grandmother will always be apart of my life, and she will always be so so very special to me, whether she is physically here with me or not.
My grandma was an amazing woman who lead a long life full of lots of love. As the matriarch of this family, she taught us many things, but most importantly, she taught us how to love and the importance of family. When I think about my Mimi, I think of summers spent at my parents, just Mim, Riah and I while mom and dad were working. I think of running errands with Mim and ri, spending our "mad money" that mom left for us on lunch or ice cream. When the world gets complicated, boys are causing trouble and girls are being mean, I would give anything to have my childhood back, and to be able to spend everyday with my grandma and my baby sister, enjoying the simplest things about life, living up every single day. Looking back, some of my fondest memories revolve around riding in my grandma's car, planting flowers in the urns at the cemetary, being chased away by fire ants, watching my grandma run out of the pond after being nibbled on by fish (who would've thought the ol' lady could run?)... These are just a few of the countless fond memories I have of time spent with my grandmother, memories that I'll always have, especially on the days, like today, where I miss her a little more than usual. Memories that no one can or will ever take away from me, memories that mean more to me than any physical worldly possession ever could.
We've been having some unusually warm weather here recently and although it makes me happy because winter seems to be so long and boring in the Midwest, I can't help but feel a slight twinge of sadness every day when I bask in the warm rays as I think of my Mimi who loved the sunshine, but didn't make it through the winter to see this weather. I thank the man upstairs every day for the good weather, right before I thank my Mimi and Eethie for working their magic with the big guy upstairs, because I truly believe that I not only have the two best guardian angels pullin some serious strings up there, but that these days are truly a gift from God that I am so very thankful for.
On days like today, when I feel a little more empty than usual, everything around me seems to make me miss my Mim. I miss everything about my grandma. I miss her hugs that would last longer than any normal hug from anyone else, I miss her kisses that came in multitudes, kiss after kiss- she could never be the first to stop kissing and she couldn't be the first to let go of a hug. I miss hearing her say 'I love you darling, so very much'. I miss her thanking everyone, for absolutely everything- you kiss her forehead and tell her you love her and she thanks you, she seriously is the most precious lady that I'll ever have the pleasure of knowing or having in my life. I miss her house and the way that everything smelled like her. I miss family sundays, which will never be the same without my Mimi and Eethie there. I miss holding her arm or hand to walk her to and from the car, driving her to the doctor, taking her to the hospital to visit with Eethie. I miss talking to her on the phone, telling her about my day, telling her how discouraged school is making me-but mostly, I miss hearing her tell me 'I'm so very proud of you, please don't ever forget that'. I miss my rock, I miss my biggest fan. I miss my Grandma, and I always will.
The world lost an amazing woman the day that my grandmother left us, but this family and those fortunate enough to know my grandma were blessed with time spent with such a precious, loving, kind and beautiful woman. There will always be a piece of my heart that is missing due to the loss of both my Mimi and my Eethie, but I know that no matter where I go, they're never far and they're always supporting me through everything, just as they always have, no matter what.
Eethie-
I can't believe you've been gone for almost three months, but I know that you're free of pain and adjusting well to being with those we've loved and lost. Keep an eye on my Mim for me. I love you, so much.
Mim-
I can't believe that you've been gone for almost two months! 7 weeks without you, and I gotta say, it hasn't been easy adjusting to a completely different life without you two crazies running around :) I strive every day to be a better person and to make you proud, hopefully I succeed some day ;) I love you, so much, and I hope you're lovin on that baby up there. Watch over us and guide us, but I already know you will. I'll miss you so much, forever, but my love for you outweighs anything else. Thank you for everything Mim, I am so blessed because of you and for having you. I love you, forever.
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