Live the life you love, love the life you live: July 2011

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

don't ever look back

if there's anything i've learned over the past 2 months- it's to stop looking back, to learn from the mistakes that i've made and to grow and to become a person who doesn't make those mistakes again. i did my fair share of bad things and i hurt my fair share of people that i really care about- and i will always hate myself for the pain that i've caused in the lives of those i care most about. but at the same time- i miss the way things were, i miss my bestfriend. i miss talking to you, i miss laughing with you, i miss you making me laugh, i miss laughing at you for being your blonde self, i miss you making me cry, i miss you making everything right in the world again, i miss you teasing me until i got angry, just so you could tell me how much you cared to make it all better- i miss everything about you, but most of all, i miss the way you loved me. this whole friend thing is better than i could've expected to get out of all of the hurt and devastation i caused, but it sucks. literally blows. and i hate it. i still have 3 voice mails from you, thus being the reasoning behind this blurb. i made the mistake of listening to them, listening to you and it only brought all of these emotions that i've been trying to subdue and to forget about for so long pulsing forward, slapping me in the face. i miss you, bee. i miss you when you're at work, i miss you when you're at home texting me, i miss you when you're sleeping, i miss you when you're sleeping next to me, i miss you when you're driving here and i miss you most when you're leaving, but- i miss you. i never knew i could miss someone or something so much, even when they're literally pressed up against me. but i do. and i will. always. i don't want this to be misinterpreted, at all- i am so blessed to have you in my life, still, and for that i will always be thankful. but every day spent being your friend is a constant struggle for me, a daily struggle involving self-hate. i am so grateful for you, my bee, and know that when i tell you that i love you, every night before i go to sleep, i mean it, from the very bottom of this shattered heart of mine. every day that i have you to talk to is a good day, and i thank you for putting up with me and for staying in my life. words cannot do justice how thankful i am to have you in my life, your unwavering support, love and advice means the world to me. i can't wait to be on vacation with you and my family next week :) i love you, bee, i always have and i always will- even if it kills me.

2 more work days till vacation- wooooot. have a good week lovelies :)

Friday, July 15, 2011

the end of a decade

all around the world today millions of people, of all ages, both young and old, morn the ending of the well-loved Harry Potter series. i can safely and comfortably say that i am a harry potter fanatic and that i was one of the crazies who went to see the film at midnight last night! woooo! however, i was pretty disappointed because we got there almost two hours early and still ended up with second row, AKA nosebleed, seats- bummer. the longer the movie went on i eventually adjusted to being so close to the screen, but for the first couple of previews my eyes couldn't focus on the screen, at all. the first couple of previews had a lot of action in them, which made the characters and such blur together because of all of the movement, and because of this i spent the first, eh, 10 minutes or so cross-eyed. i won't post any spoilers, for those of you who haven't seen it, but if you've read the book, there really are no spoilers because the movies are much like the books, minus some minor details here and there. i left the theater having not shed many tears, maybe just a few, actually, but at any rate it was not nearly the amount of tears that i had expected. i also left feeling strange, i didn't really feel like this chapter of my life had ended- i'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing yet, but i definitely feel like the sense of closure is still lacking. in my free time today i've been pretty active on tumblr, looking at some harry potter pictures, and some of these images combined with some of my favorite lines from the books or with quotes from the actors have brought tears to my eyes, much like these same images did yesterday afternoon pre-harry potter 7 pt. 2. i suppose that some of these tears could be contributed to the fact that i got less than 3 hours of sleep last night before coming into work this morning, but thanks to my NOS, i've yet to feel the least bit tired- so i'm pretty sure that it's just taking some sweet time for it to actually hit me that this is all "over". for me harry potter will never end. i read the very first book when it first came out and i've been in love with J.K. Rowling's work ever since. when i heard rumors of making a movie from the book, i was concerned because, let's be honest, a lot of movies that are books first suck. and granted that the harry potter books average about 350-400 pages a piece, it just seemed like it would be impossible to combine that much detail into a film that you could sit through and not leave upset. however, i put my faith in Rowling as she worked hard to insure that these films would do the books justice, and they did. of course, as a reader first, i've noticed some significant differences between the movies and the books, and i've also notice some changes that have been added to the movies to make them sell better, but over all, i love the harry potter films and i think that the warner brothers studio did a wonderful job.

thus being sad, it makes me sad to sit here and think about not having another new harry potter film release to look forward to. there won't be an 8th installment, there won't be anymore "new" potter material. this series has been a part of my life for 14 years. these books brought people together around the world, regardless of ethnicity, language or sex- these books define a generation. i hope to some day pass this wonderful world on to the youngsters in my family, heck I've already tried to get my sister to let my 7 year old niece read the first book ;) but for this very reason, i truly believe that harry potter will forever be a part of us. as the harry potter series ends, we're brought forward 19 years to see harry, Ron, Ginny and Hermione sending their own children off to Hogwarts- without these 4 and the help of many other strong wizards, the wizarding world as we knew it to be in harry potter would have ceased to exist under Voldemort's reign. so as this quartet continues on with the wizarding tradition, i feel that it is our job to continue the harry potter tradition, to pass this excellent literature and film legacy on to future generations. these books inspire people and give those who have nothing else something to believe in- and for that, Rowling will forever be one of my favorite people. to be able to unite so many people and to be able to instill hope in the hopeless is no easy task- and because of Rowling, this generation has grown watching and reading about those who fight for what is right and about those who fight for what's best for the general public, not just what's best for themselves. we've seen people fight, often losing their lives, but refusing to give up the fight for what is right. and for this- i thank you, harry potter and you, J.K. Rowling.

and i'm off my soapbox now.

i hope y'all are doing fabulous and enjoy your weekend! i know i will!! :)

love,
mojo