i don't wanna grow up

i really miss my laptop, just thought i'd throw that out there-  i can get it fixed this weekend because i'm missin it, somethin awful. but other than that, life is going pretty swell :) my internship is definitely keeping me on my toes and this set of classes officially ends in about 5 days but my next set of classes starts about 2 days after that....sad day. but that means i'm closer to being done. woop.  

happy 4th of july, to all of you. thank you, so much, to those that have served or are currently serving our country so we can live our lives with the freedoms that we have because of your sacrifices.

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I just want that late night movie, make pancakes together, cuddle up on the couch, kind of relationship.

Forever only lasts until the going gets rough.

Don't depend on next times and second chances.

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to tell you exactly how I feel about you.

we're all walking around with these glossy eyes. 'i'm just tired.' we say. but you know what, it's bullshit. yes, we are tired, but it's not all from lack of sleep. we are tired of waking up with nothing to look forward to, tired of going to bed exhausted after doing a million things we find no enjoyment in doing. we're tired of this void, this emptiness that looms over us even though our days are packed. we're tired of the loneliness that presses down on us even though we're surrounded by dozens of people. so why can't we just say it..humans are afraid to look into eachother's eyes and say 'i am unhappy, i am broken, i am hopeless, and fallible.' we've been conditioned to associate pain with weakness, sadness with coldness, loneliness with unworthiness, difference with disease, as if these feelings are contagious, as if ambivalence is something not to be felt but to be feared. well, i say screw all of that. screw forced smiles and polite handshakes and i'm fine, thank you. screw the fear of crying in a public place, screw the fake chipper voice, screw the lies we spit out to cover up our problems. we are humans. we are meant to feel. to feel everything and to feel it all openly. we are not metal- we are flesh and hope. our boiled blood courses through our cold, clammy hands. we are intricate and beautiful and we should never hide our human parts, because if we do, what's left to show?

It’s funny how you can be face to face with someone, and yet it feels as though you’re on the other side of the world from them. They haven’t actually gone anywhere, but they might as well have. It’s one of the worst feelings to become acquainted with: to miss someone who’s literally right there.

No one can hurt me anymore. In fact, no one can even come close because I just don't care anymore. About anything. I wake up & don't care what I wear. I don't care what I do on the weekends. I just go through the motions. So I sure as hell don't care what you do with your life anymore.

he will always be able to play the 'friend' card on you. He only has to be responsible for the expectations of a friend, rather than the far greater expectations of a boyfriend. He's got the ultimate situation: a great friend with all the benefits of a girlfriend, whom he can see or not see whenever he wants to. He may be one of your closest friends, but I'm sorry to say, as a boyfriend, he's just not that into you.

I want to get drunk, completely wasted. Not for the fun of it or to be "cool" but just to forget all the bullshit going on in my life right now. I want to sit on a sandy beach and watch the waves just crash, like my life. And when I finally get wasted i want to call you and tell you all the shit i've been wanting to tell you for days now. Things weren’t supposed to be like this.

what's on my mind? i'm fuckin tired. i'm tired of caring for people who don't give a shit about me. i'm tired of waiting for texts that won't come, and thinking things will be different yet they never change. i'm tired of giving out chances, only to be let down. i'm tired of putting fourth 100% of effort and only getting 25% in return. i'm tired of broken promises, and of let downs, especially by the people who matter the most to me. i'm tired of making someone a priority, when in reality i'm just an option. i'm tired of shitty friends who are never there for me. i'm tired of assholes who only manipulate a situation from their own perspective, never even thinking about what someone else is going through. i'm tired of the same old bullshit over and over again. 

Never lose yourself trying to hold on to someone who doesn't care about losing you.     

You ever had that one person who just makes your life better. The one is all the stars in the sky and that can make you smile with just one look? That person who you would die for. The one who makes your gray skies blue and as cliche as it sounds, they actually make your heart skip a few beats. Hold on to that person, don't let them slip away because life without them, isn't the same

Sorry, but I don't need any part-time people in my life. You're either with me, or you're not. You can't just come and go as you please.

Don't base your decisions on advice from people who don't have to deal with the results.

i've been disappointed so many times that not giving a crap is almost a reflex.   

I don't know exactly what I was waiting for, but every moment that I'm with you feels like everything I've been waiting for. 

“I love you” – a warning, an apology, an interruption. A plead for attention. An objection, an excuse. A justification. A reminder. A trap, a blessing, a disguise. A way of saying nothing. A way of summarizing everything. A surrender. An opening. An end.  

But you just come to know that you get so used to being loved, and in one second it can all come crashing down. Now I know to not let anything get that far ever again, because I didn't know how I could wake up one morning and have it all hit me. I didn't know I could miss you this much.

  

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love, love, loving! my life. i cannot wait for this weekend. i hope my smooch is feeling better, because i want to spend time outside around the pond!! wooooo! i can't wait to see my family this weekend :)   i love you all! have a safe and happy weekend!

love,

  mojo 

hello loverrrrrs!!!

i'm so sorry for my recent leave of absence, but.... my laptop officially crashed, again, so i'm borrowing my sister's laptop, which is very, very slow compared to mine (but i'm very thankful!!!), so the posts might be at a stand still for at least another week or so....

just a quick update on things- my internship is going well! really well, actually. today marks my second pay-day :) which definitely is a perk to this internship- being paid. experience-wise i'm learning a lot, i'm meeting a lot of nice, interesting people, oh! and i got a job offer!! :) my social-life is pretty much non-existent, at the moment. i did have lunch on tuesday with sam and then sam and i grabbed coffee yesterday afternoon as an excuse to get out of the office- sooo much fun! i'm so thankful that there is at least one person in this building that i can relate to :) soooo....yeah- i'm living for the weekends, which are typically pretty busy, at least socially, between trying to hang with friends and family, i keep a pretty busy schedule for the entirety of my weekends :) but i'm not complaining! it's my favorite part of the week!

and now on to some feelings....

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Some dance to remember. Some dance to forget.

“Never ignore a person who loves and cares for you, because one day you may realize that you’ve lost the moon while counting the stars.”
-John O'Callaghan 

*this is really, REALLY good advice, and some of you should take it into consideration...just a suggestion...

The most beautiful smile is the one that struggled through all the tears.

Forgive me because I am sensitive and unsure. Forgive me because I needed you to say something and you didn't say anything.  

*this is one of my BIGGEST frustrations right now, it makes everything so very hard

I am made one hundred percent of flaws, and I can promise there is not one ounce of perfection in me. But, good intentions hold me together, and I hope that counts for something.   

It's amazing when two strangers become the best of friends, but its sad when the best of friends become two strangers.

Being a female is a matter of birth, being a woman is a matter of age, but being a lady is a matter of choice.

We humans have two great problems: First is knowing when to start, and second is knowing when to stop.

When I met him, it was like a shade going up in a dark room, the light suddenly pouring in. He understood
things about me, things no one else ever did, ever could. And then he was gone, just as suddenly, the room went dark again.

The smarter the woman is, the more difficult it is for her to find the right man.

Sometimes you have to be apart  from the people you love, but that doesn’t make you love them any less.
Sometimes it makes you love them more.

No matter what happens I'll make it. If I'm not happy I'll fake it. I've been through backstabbers, boys and lies. I got a whole list of folks I despise. So, if you got my trust don't lose it. If you got my love don't abuse it.

“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”
-Fight Club

Addiction never ends well because eventually whatever was getting us high starts to hurt. Still, they say you don't kick the habit until you hit 

rock bottom, but how do you know when you're there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, 

sometimes letting it go hurts even worse. 

--Grey's Anatomy

When your throat starts to burn, and your heartbeat speeds up, when your stomach tightens, and your lungs 
close up, when your tears rush to your eyes faster than you ever dreamed possible, that's the worst pain you 
will ever feel. That's your heart breaking.

"I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you." 
--Dirty Dancing 

Sometimes in life you just have to accept the way things are, when you can't change them. It's hard, but you''ll either learn 
to let go, or you'll get used to it altogether. At the end of the day, it's all the same heartache, but it's how you deal 
with it that makes all the difference. 

Can’t lose what you never had, can’t keep what’s not yours, and can’t hold onto something that does not want to stay.

It's an interesting feeling to scroll through all the numbers in your phone and realize that there is no one who will understand.

you should always say yes to your happiness even if it means saying no to someone else.

I hope it's nice where you are, and i hope the sun shines, and it's a beautiful day. 

Letting go doesn't mean we don't care. Letting go doesn't mean we shut down. Letting go means we stop trying to force 
outcomes and make people behave. It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment. It means we stop trying to do 
the impossible–controlling that which we cannot –and instead, focus on what is possible. 

When things get awfully tiring, seek for silence. Most of the times, the loudest lessons are found at the most quiet corners of our lives. 

And don't apologize for all the tears you've cried, you've been way too strong now for all your life.

Sometimes you have to hurt someone’s feelings just to let them understand how it felt when they hurt yours.Sometimes things just don't work out. Sometimes you give someone everything, and end up with nothing.

 Sometimes the best way to get someone's attention is to stop giving them yours.

Our lives are shaped by those who refuse to love us.

the thing i love most about myself is being able to walk past people I know are talking about me and not letting it get to me, even when I know how harsh their words are.

the thing i love most about myself is...how much i care for others even when i'm hurting.

When a person cannot answer directly to your question, probably the answer is too painful for you to know or too hard for them to admit.

I really enjoy spending time with you, even if we're just going to be sitting around and talking about nothing. There are a million things I love about you, like your nose or the way you smile, the way you look me in the eye too. And I just get the greatest feeling when I make you laugh, I feel as if my company makes you happy, and that's what I wish for you. For you to be happy. And when I see you laugh at my clumsy ways, it just makes me want to spend the rest of my life with you so I can see a smile on your face.

You stole my heart, ripped it out, smashed it on the floor and I smiled because you touched me.

The most ironic thing of all is, I think this will be the most difficult breakup I ever go through, and we never even went out.

As in friendship so in love, we are often happier from ignorance than from knowledge.

love,     

 mojo