8 more days of class, 3 days of finals-- christmas break, here i come!! in honor of my first partial day back in the swing of classes, i thought i'd post some random stuff-

1.) i hate texting lingo- you'll never catch me sending an 'lol', 'k' or 'lmao' text- if i do, i'm probably either a.) annoyed or b.) super pissed so you'd better run for the hills.

2.) there is no college team that i dislike more than Purdue- boiler down

3.) trying to come up with lists and/or ideas for birthdays or christmas are the hardest things for me to do

4.) i'm convinced that anyone and everyone around can tell when it's that time of the month for me because i'm constantly afraid that i'll be showing

5.) nail bitters are one of my biggest pet peeves

6.) i don't watch a lot of actual tv, but i do catch up on some missed tv online

7.) i can find anything to keep me from doing an ounce of homework or studying

8.) i write my best papers the night before something is due and when i haven't read the required reading

9.) i have been in school for forever, it seems, and i still don't know the best way to study for an exam

10.) i am 5 short months away from graduating and i have no clue what i want to do post-graduation

11.) my friends and family mean the world to me but i become slightly overwhelmed upon first spending time with them

12.) going along with what i just mentioned, after being around friends/family for more than 3 days, going back to my house and spending lots of time by myself makes me extremely lonely and very homesick

13.) i am in need of a break, desperately, a break longer than 3 school days

can't stop, won't stop

I am constantly pushing away boys who actually care because I am still in love with the one who doesn't.

It hurt me real bad when you left. I'm glad you got out, but I miss you. I've had a hole in my heart for so long. But I've learned to fake it and just smile along.

Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom and hurting the only ones you love, to realize what you have become is not what you planned, and who you are is not who you like.

You showed me how to face the truth. Everything that's good in me, I owe all to you.

Sometimes no matter how much you like someone, they're just not good for you.

Time doesn't heal you when you're not ready to move on.

I believe in soul mates and in love. I think there are people who come in your life that are supposed to be there for a
reason, even if it's just for a short amount of time.

It's hard to wait around for something that could never actually happen. But it's even harder to give up, when you
know it's everything you want.  

 
 

as fall break has finally come to a close, i have officially completed 1/4 of my senior year of undergrad- eeeeeeee! i'm as happy as a clam and i cannot wait to get at least the rest of this semester over. as excited as i am, i'm also very uncertain as to what i'm going to do with myself in 8 months when the real world comes calling...hopefully between then and now i can get things figured out, hopefully i can finally decide on something instead of shuffling between careers and schools as frequently as i change my underwear. you probably think i'm kidding, but i'm straight serious y'all. as much as i'm ready for all of this to be over and to be out there doing my thing, i can't help but to feel slightly sentimental about the things going on in my life right now.

1. It's my senior year- my very last year of being an undergrad, my very last year at MC with my friends, with the faculty who have become mentors and friends. My very last chance to do all of the things that I'm going to look back on someday, when I'm much older, with fond memories of times with both new and old friends doing all sort of things, staying out too late and walking home at 3:30 a.m. in the pitch a$$ dark night with girls who would eventually become my best friends and better halves. I was very skeptical, at first, about this place, this small town and small school atmosphere because it reminded me a lot of my hometown and of my high school. I love my hometown, don't get me wrong, but it's the kind of small where you have to drive 30 minutes to get to a mall or to a store other than Wal Mart (which I HATE) so, although I will visit because my family still resides in the area, I can't see myself settling someplace so small, someplace like my hometown or my collegetown. In my 3 years here I have met some of the most amazing, most beautiful people who have had such a significant impact on my life. I came to this place with a strong friend base from home, but I gained an even stronger base of friends at MC. These girls, and guys, have been there, through failed exams, messy breakups, family drama, 4 am firedrills, fieldtrips resulting in being a$$ deep in mud, late night study sessions and hours on end with no power and no internet. And for these individuals and memories that I'll never forget, I am so blessed and so thankful.
2. Baby sister is 1/4 of the way done with her first year of IU!! Yaaaaay baby sister :) I'm sooo proud of you! Also- I'd like to know where our youth went? Watching disney channel movies without you is a.) not any fun and b.) sad 
3. All my munchkins are pretty much in school now- eeeeeeekkkk!! where did my cute little babies gooo?? and I really would like to know why I can't just pull them from school to stay home with me all day? How important can pre-school be anyway? :)
4. Family- this is pretty self-explanatory as far as my family is concerned but I'd just like to re-iterate just how much each and every one of you means to me. I am so blessed to have such a loving family and to have such a strong bond with my family.

 love, Love, LOVE my life, so so so much right now. Even when things are crazy hectic (like now) and I'm stressed to the max (like now)- I wouldn't change a thing.

so blessed and so very thankful-

be loved, be blessed and be healthy, ladies-

mojo

coming live to you via blogger mobile

first thoughts about this new app-
1.) took y'all long enough to develop this sucker, I've been waiting months to be able to update my blog on the go!
2.) I don't like that I can't use my full keyboard because this app doesn't flip when I turn my device sideways...poo
3.) I haven't figured everything out about this yet, but I'm not liking the fact that I can't read my favorite blogs, I can just post in my own...come on google- fix this, please :)

in other news- this past weekend was a blast, not nearly long enough, as usual, but I got to spend lots of time with my other half [bee :)] and also with my family and my best buddy, K., so, all in all, good weekend, not long enough. story of my life.

be safe, be blessed, and be loved, ladies

mojo

rainy mondays

what a great day for a nap :)

there's nothing i love more than coming back from class to a comfy bed. my favorite part of beds is crawling under the sheets to find the cold spots, favorite spot!

it's gonna be a long week, ladies. better button down the hatches asap!


be loved, be blessed and be beautiful

xo,

mojo

hiatus

hello loverrrs,

i apologize for being gone for, oh wow, almost a month! things have beeen ca-razy! around here y'all. with summer winding down my summer classes ended and so did my internship :( also during this time we moved my baby sister into college!!! ahhhhh- can we just pause here, when did my baby sister, my sweet little shadow, become a freshman in college?! nuts, y'all, it's nuts. i respect that lady somethin awful for going to such a big, public school with soooo many crazy wahoodles creepin around at all hours of the day, but i have to say that 3 hours away is a bit far, squirt. ya hear me? 3 HOURS IS TOO FAR! come home already, i miss you somethin awful. and bee, that applies to you as well. 2 hours is still too far away. this lady doesn't do so well being away from the people that she cares most about, as if that's not obvious by the fact that i spend every free moment making sure that i get to see those that i care most about, even if it means i have to drive two hours south to pick my other half up to bring him home to be with me for the weekend.



rant over. i'm going to attempt to go back to doing homework, now that i've shed some much needed tears...but i'm sure i'll end up procrastinating over here anyway ;)

stay healthy, stay beautiful and be loved-

love,
mojo

mess

what is this mess? and when did it become my life?

i'm not sure where my life went, but i'd like to have it back, immediately. i hate this. i hate this mess. and i hate that it is my life. I HATE IT! URRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! i just want a sense of normalcy back, that's all.

tragedy

tragedy strikes again and once again, hits very, very close to home. 5 innocent lives were lost this weekend and at least 100 people have been hospitalized/treated for injuries sustained in a freak accident that would bring any normal person to tears simply by viewing the footage of the accident happening.  in all of this, a classmate of mine was lost, but will never be forgotten. please say a prayer for those affected by this tragedy and be thankful that good, honest and caring people still exist in this world. in a time of mass chaos and unforeseen circumstances, brave individuals stepped out to help save countless people. to those who dashed into the chaos, headstrong and fearless, thank you for your bravery and for your service to those in need. for those who lost a friend or loved one, be strong and never ever forget you friend or loved one, for they will always remain in your heart. continue to pray for strength for those recovering and healing in the aftermath of such a tragic event. 5 lives were lost, but 5 people will never be forgotten. the events of this weekend remind me how proud i am to be a member of this glorious state and to be a member of this wonderful country where, despite differences, we can still pull together to help in times of need.

on a lighter note, my birthday weekend was a wonderful success :) thank you to all who could be there with me. i love you all more than you'll ever know.

be strong, be brave and be beautiful-

love,

mojo

birthday!

happy birthday to me!!! :)

today is my birthday! yeeee-haw!! and no, in case you were wondering, i don't feel any older. i just got off the phone with my brother, who insisted that i should have had a margarita before work this morning because that would have set the day off on the right foot. i think a margarita at 7:45 AM makes you an alcoholic, or just crazy, J, but thanks anyway ;)  thank you to everyone who has wished me a happy birthday and for everyone who has taken the time out of their day to call, text or send me a sweet birthday message. birthday's are my favorite because they remind me of how truly lucky i am to be surrounded by such amazing and loving people, so- thank you all, so very much!! 7.5 hours stand between me and the end of this work day/work week. i'm headed home tonight to go out for dinner with my family and i couldn't be happier! and!! tomorrow night i'm headed out with my favorite people- my girlies and meg!! sooooooo excited!! and!!! saturday night is the night for a home style shindig at my place, it's gonna be a good time, that's all i can say!! and finally, sunday my smooch and i will celebrate our birthdays together. i love that little munchkin so very much and i can't wait to celebrate with her!!

have a fabulous thursday all. be safe, be beautiful and be loved.

love,
mojo

pinterest

hello lovlies-

summer's winding down, which means several things for me. first, August is the month of birthday's in my family, my little smooch's was yesterday (8th), my sister-in-law E's was the 5th, my oldest nephew's is tomorrow (10th) and mine is thursday (11th). also, after all of these birthdays, my internship is sadly coming to a close. i've really enjoyed my time here, mainly for the people but also for the experience (especially since i might finally know what i want to do with this life! :) ). with that, school starts 3 weeks from tomorrow :( :( :( major sadness because i'm super sad to see this summer over and done with already, especially because my munchkins head back to school first thing next week! well, at least em, al's got a bit till pre-school :) but anyway, i've got a crazy 2 weeks coming up as my internship winds to a close and my summer classes leave me with a week and a half of summer vacay!! :) so bear with me if i'm not around. also, you can always follow my tumblr [http://livethelifeyou-love.tumblr.com/] because i'm typically tumbling several times a day as it's easier for me than sitting down and legit cranking out a post, also-i've just recently become addicted to pinterest, sort of like tumblr (both of which are blogs/idea boards, for those of you who don't know), so you could also check that out, if you'd like :) [http://pinterest.com/molly_jo/]

stay safe, stay healthy and stay beautiful-

love,

mojo

p.s. keep those you love most close to you, as long as you can; tell them that you love them every day- i can't even begin to express how short life is- don't ever  forget this.

don't ever look back

if there's anything i've learned over the past 2 months- it's to stop looking back, to learn from the mistakes that i've made and to grow and to become a person who doesn't make those mistakes again.  i did my fair share of bad things and i hurt my fair share of people that i really care about- and i will always hate myself for the pain that i've caused in the lives of those i care most about. but at the same time- i miss the way things were, i miss my bestfriend. i miss talking to you, i miss laughing with you, i miss you making me laugh, i miss laughing at you for being your blonde self, i miss you making me cry, i miss you making everything right in the world again, i miss you teasing me until i got angry, just so you could tell me how much you cared to make it all better- i miss everything about you, but most of all, i miss the way you loved me. this whole friend thing is better than i could've expected to get out of all of the hurt and devastation i caused, but it sucks. literally blows. and i hate it. i still have 3 voice mails from you, thus being the reasoning behind this blurb. i made the mistake of listening to them, listening to you and it only brought all of these emotions that i've been trying to subdue and to forget about for so long pulsing forward, slapping me in the face. i miss you, bee. i miss you when you're at work, i miss you when you're at home texting me, i miss you when you're sleeping, i miss you when you're sleeping next to me, i miss you when you're driving here and i miss you most when you're leaving, but- i miss you. i never knew i could miss someone or something so much, even when they're literally pressed up against me. but i do. and i will. always.  i don't want this to be misinterpreted, at all- i am so blessed to have you in my life, still, and for that i will always be thankful. but every day spent being your friend is a constant struggle for me, a daily struggle involving self-hate. i am so grateful for you, my bee, and know that when i tell you that i love you, every night before i go to sleep, i mean it, from the very bottom of this shattered heart of mine. every day that i have you to talk to is a good day, and i thank you for putting up with me and for staying in my life. words cannot do justice how thankful i am to have you in my life, your unwavering support, love and advice means the world to me. i can't wait to be on vacation with you and my family next week :) i love you, bee, i always have and i always will- even if it kills me.

2 more work days till vacation- wooooot. have a good week lovelies :)

the end of a decade

all around the world today millions of people, of all ages, both young and old, morn the ending of the well-loved Harry Potter series. i can safely and comfortably say that i am a harry potter fanatic and that i was one of the crazies who went to see the film at midnight last night! woooo! however, i was pretty disappointed because we got there almost two hours early and still ended up with second row, AKA nosebleed, seats- bummer. the longer the movie went on i eventually adjusted to being so close to the screen, but for the first couple of previews my eyes couldn't focus on the screen, at all. the first couple of previews had a lot of action in them, which made the characters and such blur together because of all of the movement, and because of this i spent the first, eh, 10 minutes or so cross-eyed. i won't post any spoilers, for those of you who haven't seen it, but if you've read the book, there really are no spoilers because the movies are much like the books, minus some minor details here and there. i left the theater having not shed many tears, maybe just a few, actually, but at any rate it was not nearly the amount of tears that i had expected. i also left feeling strange, i didn't really feel like this chapter of my life had ended- i'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing yet, but i definitely feel like the sense of closure is still lacking. in my free time today i've been pretty active on tumblr, looking at some harry potter pictures, and some of these images combined with some of my favorite lines from the books or with quotes from the actors have brought tears to my eyes, much like these same images did yesterday afternoon pre-harry potter 7 pt. 2. i suppose that some of these tears could be contributed to the fact that i got less than 3 hours of sleep last night before coming into work this morning, but thanks to my NOS, i've yet to feel the least bit tired- so i'm pretty sure that it's just taking some sweet time for it to actually hit me that this is all "over". for me harry potter will never end. i read the very first book when it first came out and i've been in love with J.K. Rowling's work ever since. when i heard rumors of making a movie from the book, i was concerned because, let's be honest, a lot of movies that are books first suck. and granted that the harry potter books average about 350-400 pages a piece, it just seemed like it would be impossible to combine that much detail into a film that you could sit through and not leave upset. however, i put my faith in Rowling as she worked hard to insure that these films would do the books justice, and they did. of course, as a reader first, i've noticed some significant differences between the movies and the books, and i've also notice some changes that have been added to the movies to make them sell better, but over all, i love the harry potter films and i think that the warner brothers studio did a wonderful job.

thus being sad, it makes me sad to sit here and think about not having another new harry potter film release to look forward to. there won't be an 8th installment, there won't be anymore "new" potter material. this series has been a part of my life for 14 years. these books brought people together around the world, regardless of ethnicity, language or sex- these books define a generation. i hope to some day pass this wonderful world on to the youngsters in my family, heck I've already tried to get my sister to let my 7 year old niece read the first book ;) but for this very reason, i truly believe that harry potter will forever be a part of us. as the harry potter series ends, we're brought forward 19 years to see harry, Ron, Ginny and Hermione sending their own children off to Hogwarts- without these 4 and the help of many other strong wizards, the wizarding world as we knew it to be in harry potter would have ceased to exist under Voldemort's reign. so as this quartet continues on with the wizarding tradition, i feel that it is our job to continue the harry potter tradition, to pass this excellent literature and film legacy on to future generations. these books inspire people and give those who have nothing else something to believe in- and for that, Rowling will forever be one of my favorite people. to be able to unite so many people and to be able to instill hope in the hopeless is no easy task- and because of Rowling, this generation has grown watching and reading about those who fight for what is right and about those who fight for what's best for the general public, not just what's best for themselves. we've seen people fight, often losing their lives, but refusing to give up the fight for what is right. and for this- i thank you, harry potter and you, J.K. Rowling.

and i'm off my soapbox now.


i hope y'all are doing fabulous and enjoy your weekend! i know i will!! :)

love,
mojo 

Wednesday Wishes

Today I'm linking up with Brooke for Wednesday Wishes week 1!!

1. I want to get inked, soooooo bad

2. Vacation with my family 

3. More time to read

i miss reading, but because of work and school i just don't have time for it right now :(

4. a husky puppy 

5. a new pair of shades

mine are broken so i definitely need new ones :)

6. lead a healthier life

i don't wanna grow up

i really miss my laptop, just thought i'd throw that out there-  i can get it fixed this weekend because i'm missin it, somethin awful. but other than that, life is going pretty swell :) my internship is definitely keeping me on my toes and this set of classes officially ends in about 5 days but my next set of classes starts about 2 days after that....sad day. but that means i'm closer to being done. woop.  

happy 4th of july, to all of you. thank you, so much, to those that have served or are currently serving our country so we can live our lives with the freedoms that we have because of your sacrifices.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I just want that late night movie, make pancakes together, cuddle up on the couch, kind of relationship.

Forever only lasts until the going gets rough.

Don't depend on next times and second chances.

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to tell you exactly how I feel about you.

we're all walking around with these glossy eyes. 'i'm just tired.' we say. but you know what, it's bullshit. yes, we are tired, but it's not all from lack of sleep. we are tired of waking up with nothing to look forward to, tired of going to bed exhausted after doing a million things we find no enjoyment in doing. we're tired of this void, this emptiness that looms over us even though our days are packed. we're tired of the loneliness that presses down on us even though we're surrounded by dozens of people. so why can't we just say it..humans are afraid to look into eachother's eyes and say 'i am unhappy, i am broken, i am hopeless, and fallible.' we've been conditioned to associate pain with weakness, sadness with coldness, loneliness with unworthiness, difference with disease, as if these feelings are contagious, as if ambivalence is something not to be felt but to be feared. well, i say screw all of that. screw forced smiles and polite handshakes and i'm fine, thank you. screw the fear of crying in a public place, screw the fake chipper voice, screw the lies we spit out to cover up our problems. we are humans. we are meant to feel. to feel everything and to feel it all openly. we are not metal- we are flesh and hope. our boiled blood courses through our cold, clammy hands. we are intricate and beautiful and we should never hide our human parts, because if we do, what's left to show?

It’s funny how you can be face to face with someone, and yet it feels as though you’re on the other side of the world from them. They haven’t actually gone anywhere, but they might as well have. It’s one of the worst feelings to become acquainted with: to miss someone who’s literally right there.

No one can hurt me anymore. In fact, no one can even come close because I just don't care anymore. About anything. I wake up & don't care what I wear. I don't care what I do on the weekends. I just go through the motions. So I sure as hell don't care what you do with your life anymore.

he will always be able to play the 'friend' card on you. He only has to be responsible for the expectations of a friend, rather than the far greater expectations of a boyfriend. He's got the ultimate situation: a great friend with all the benefits of a girlfriend, whom he can see or not see whenever he wants to. He may be one of your closest friends, but I'm sorry to say, as a boyfriend, he's just not that into you.

I want to get drunk, completely wasted. Not for the fun of it or to be "cool" but just to forget all the bullshit going on in my life right now. I want to sit on a sandy beach and watch the waves just crash, like my life. And when I finally get wasted i want to call you and tell you all the shit i've been wanting to tell you for days now. Things weren’t supposed to be like this.

what's on my mind? i'm fuckin tired. i'm tired of caring for people who don't give a shit about me. i'm tired of waiting for texts that won't come, and thinking things will be different yet they never change. i'm tired of giving out chances, only to be let down. i'm tired of putting fourth 100% of effort and only getting 25% in return. i'm tired of broken promises, and of let downs, especially by the people who matter the most to me. i'm tired of making someone a priority, when in reality i'm just an option. i'm tired of shitty friends who are never there for me. i'm tired of assholes who only manipulate a situation from their own perspective, never even thinking about what someone else is going through. i'm tired of the same old bullshit over and over again. 

Never lose yourself trying to hold on to someone who doesn't care about losing you.     

You ever had that one person who just makes your life better. The one is all the stars in the sky and that can make you smile with just one look? That person who you would die for. The one who makes your gray skies blue and as cliche as it sounds, they actually make your heart skip a few beats. Hold on to that person, don't let them slip away because life without them, isn't the same

Sorry, but I don't need any part-time people in my life. You're either with me, or you're not. You can't just come and go as you please.

Don't base your decisions on advice from people who don't have to deal with the results.

i've been disappointed so many times that not giving a crap is almost a reflex.   

I don't know exactly what I was waiting for, but every moment that I'm with you feels like everything I've been waiting for. 

“I love you” – a warning, an apology, an interruption. A plead for attention. An objection, an excuse. A justification. A reminder. A trap, a blessing, a disguise. A way of saying nothing. A way of summarizing everything. A surrender. An opening. An end.  

But you just come to know that you get so used to being loved, and in one second it can all come crashing down. Now I know to not let anything get that far ever again, because I didn't know how I could wake up one morning and have it all hit me. I didn't know I could miss you this much.

  

 __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

love, love, loving! my life. i cannot wait for this weekend. i hope my smooch is feeling better, because i want to spend time outside around the pond!! wooooo! i can't wait to see my family this weekend :)   i love you all! have a safe and happy weekend!

love,

  mojo 

hello loverrrrrs!!!

i'm so sorry for my recent leave of absence, but.... my laptop officially crashed, again, so i'm borrowing my sister's laptop, which is very, very slow compared to mine (but i'm very thankful!!!), so the posts might be at a stand still for at least another week or so....

just a quick update on things- my internship is going well! really well, actually. today marks my second pay-day :) which definitely is a perk to this internship- being paid. experience-wise i'm learning a lot, i'm meeting a lot of nice, interesting people, oh! and i got a job offer!! :) my social-life is pretty much non-existent, at the moment. i did have lunch on tuesday with sam and then sam and i grabbed coffee yesterday afternoon as an excuse to get out of the office- sooo much fun! i'm so thankful that there is at least one person in this building that i can relate to :) soooo....yeah- i'm living for the weekends, which are typically pretty busy, at least socially, between trying to hang with friends and family, i keep a pretty busy schedule for the entirety of my weekends :) but i'm not complaining! it's my favorite part of the week!

and now on to some feelings....

__________________________________________________________________________

Some dance to remember. Some dance to forget.

“Never ignore a person who loves and cares for you, because one day you may realize that you’ve lost the moon while counting the stars.”
-John O'Callaghan 

*this is really, REALLY good advice, and some of you should take it into consideration...just a suggestion...

The most beautiful smile is the one that struggled through all the tears.

Forgive me because I am sensitive and unsure. Forgive me because I needed you to say something and you didn't say anything.  

*this is one of my BIGGEST frustrations right now, it makes everything so very hard

I am made one hundred percent of flaws, and I can promise there is not one ounce of perfection in me. But, good intentions hold me together, and I hope that counts for something.   

It's amazing when two strangers become the best of friends, but its sad when the best of friends become two strangers.

Being a female is a matter of birth, being a woman is a matter of age, but being a lady is a matter of choice.

We humans have two great problems: First is knowing when to start, and second is knowing when to stop.

When I met him, it was like a shade going up in a dark room, the light suddenly pouring in. He understood
things about me, things no one else ever did, ever could. And then he was gone, just as suddenly, the room went dark again.

The smarter the woman is, the more difficult it is for her to find the right man.

Sometimes you have to be apart  from the people you love, but that doesn’t make you love them any less.
Sometimes it makes you love them more.

No matter what happens I'll make it. If I'm not happy I'll fake it. I've been through backstabbers, boys and lies. I got a whole list of folks I despise. So, if you got my trust don't lose it. If you got my love don't abuse it.

“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”
-Fight Club

Addiction never ends well because eventually whatever was getting us high starts to hurt. Still, they say you don't kick the habit until you hit 

rock bottom, but how do you know when you're there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, 

sometimes letting it go hurts even worse. 

--Grey's Anatomy

When your throat starts to burn, and your heartbeat speeds up, when your stomach tightens, and your lungs 
close up, when your tears rush to your eyes faster than you ever dreamed possible, that's the worst pain you 
will ever feel. That's your heart breaking.

"I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you." 
--Dirty Dancing 

Sometimes in life you just have to accept the way things are, when you can't change them. It's hard, but you''ll either learn 
to let go, or you'll get used to it altogether. At the end of the day, it's all the same heartache, but it's how you deal 
with it that makes all the difference. 

Can’t lose what you never had, can’t keep what’s not yours, and can’t hold onto something that does not want to stay.

It's an interesting feeling to scroll through all the numbers in your phone and realize that there is no one who will understand.

you should always say yes to your happiness even if it means saying no to someone else.

I hope it's nice where you are, and i hope the sun shines, and it's a beautiful day. 

Letting go doesn't mean we don't care. Letting go doesn't mean we shut down. Letting go means we stop trying to force 
outcomes and make people behave. It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment. It means we stop trying to do 
the impossible–controlling that which we cannot –and instead, focus on what is possible. 

When things get awfully tiring, seek for silence. Most of the times, the loudest lessons are found at the most quiet corners of our lives. 

And don't apologize for all the tears you've cried, you've been way too strong now for all your life.

Sometimes you have to hurt someone’s feelings just to let them understand how it felt when they hurt yours.Sometimes things just don't work out. Sometimes you give someone everything, and end up with nothing.

 Sometimes the best way to get someone's attention is to stop giving them yours.

Our lives are shaped by those who refuse to love us.

the thing i love most about myself is being able to walk past people I know are talking about me and not letting it get to me, even when I know how harsh their words are.

the thing i love most about myself is...how much i care for others even when i'm hurting.

When a person cannot answer directly to your question, probably the answer is too painful for you to know or too hard for them to admit.

I really enjoy spending time with you, even if we're just going to be sitting around and talking about nothing. There are a million things I love about you, like your nose or the way you smile, the way you look me in the eye too. And I just get the greatest feeling when I make you laugh, I feel as if my company makes you happy, and that's what I wish for you. For you to be happy. And when I see you laugh at my clumsy ways, it just makes me want to spend the rest of my life with you so I can see a smile on your face.

You stole my heart, ripped it out, smashed it on the floor and I smiled because you touched me.

The most ironic thing of all is, I think this will be the most difficult breakup I ever go through, and we never even went out.

As in friendship so in love, we are often happier from ignorance than from knowledge.

love,     

 mojo 

la la la la la- lifeeee

You say you don't love him, but i see it in your eyes that you want him. I know that you need him, i can tell by the look on your face. When you see him, that you still care, i know somewhere in your heart you wish he was there.

No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance. No one stays in love by chance, it's by work. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice. - Matthew 10:32


 I just want to feel safe with someone, to not always be wondering how he feels about me, to not always be waiting for him to walk away, to not always wishing he would love me back. I need to be able to trust that a man is there for me for the right reasons, because he cares enough to be there.

If you want to know the nature of love, look at a person when they have nothing left to give. And if they keep giving beyond that point- that is love. To give when you don't have to, to love when you can't love, to reach out when your hands are so weary that you can't even lift them.

love is always a good thing, no matter how much it hurts. even after it's over, even through the pain, anyone who has ever really loved will tell you that they never regretted a second of it, no matter how much it hurt in the end. and if you tell me differently, i will tell you that you were not truly in love

I’m so scared that one day you’ll finally feel the same about me, but I’ll have finally gotten over you. That’s why I can’t let go.

The thing is you make me happy. You walked in when it seemed like the rest of the world walked out. You were there. You are there. I never need to pretend when I'm around you, when I'm talking to you. when I'm with you. You're hilarious. You make me laugh, like, all the time. You seem to pick up when something is wrong with me, before anyone else. And you know exactly what to say to make it all okay, and even if it's only for a little while, it helps. I love you.

And it's been running through my head, all the things you ever said, and even though you don't feel the same, I wish for you everyday.

___________________________________________________________

livin for the weekendsssss. yes m'am.

love,

mojo

first of firsts

tonight's my first night, alone, in my new house. it's exciting and a little sad at the same time. i never thought i'd miss my roomie, gg, as much as i do. she annoyed the hell out of me but she did a damn fine job at keeping me company and being there when i needed her most. and for that- i love you g. i also miss being able to walk a block over to a's house, for booze, fires, food and chats. a- you've always been there when i needed you as well, i love you sooo much babycakes.

tomorrow morning marks the beginning of my future. my internship begins in approximately nine hours and i'm really looking forward to this experience. at the same time, i'm sad that i have to be 45+ minutes away from my friends and family that i care most about for most of my summer vacay.

as i lay here alone and float in my own mind, i'm a mix of emotions- those fueling this post.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

You could see it in her eyes. when someone talked about him, when she saw him, she loved him and it killed her.

It's tough when someone special starts to ignore you, it's even tougher to pretend that you don't mind.
 
We humans can tolerate suffering, but we cannot tolerate meaninglessness.

I hope you never have to think about anything as much as I think about you.

 Boy you know you could have her in a heartbeat, but she’s getting kind of sick of waiting.

I got a hard head, I get that from my dad. And I can overreact maybe just a tad. I put up walls to show the world I'm tough. When I don't get my way, I get difficult.

I just don't get how I'm supposed to get over you. Alright I understand you don't like me to where you want to date me but you're not dating anyone else. You always call me to hang out and we talk like we used to. You tell me everything and I basically fall back in love with you. I want to be your friend, I want you in my life, but god I'm so sick of this feeling. The feeling that everytime we talk or see each other it means a hell of a lot more to me than it does to you.

I been through the struggle and found a piece of mind, but, time after time, a girl still gotta break down and cry.

Girls read between the lines, analyze everything you say, and her late night conversations are filled with backspaces in what she's trying to say.

When you're forced to stand alone, you realize what you have in you.

Happiness is only real when shared.

The most ironic thing of all is, I think this will be the most difficult breakup ever, and we never even went
out.      

 Now I wait by the phone in the dark, drunk on hope. I'm so lost, I'm so alone. I just want you to know everywhere that I go I'm reminded of us. Where we've been, all we've done, and all the love that we shared once.

Don't let someone become your everything, because when they're gone you have nothing.
*best advice, ever

I'm the kind of girl you can hear from miles away, the kind that if you're sad,  it's her job to make you happy. The kind of girl who keeps messing up  & saying, "Oops, sorry." I trip over everything. I'm such a klutz & get so mad at the simplest things, But I'm the girl who holds everything back. If you ask me what's wrong, I'll just lie & smile saying, "Oh, nothing." The girl who's afraid to love because she's already lost so much.

Maybe we’re too young & I don’t even know what’s real. But I know I’ve never wanted anything so bad. I’ve never wanted anyone so bad.

I just want to run. I want to disappear. I want to be someone else. I want to cry. I want to sleep. I want to give up. I want you back. I want to tell you you're an ass. I want to punch you in the face. I want to be happy. I want to let you go. I want to tell you I love you and not cry. I want to tell you I miss you so much. I want to stop crying. I want to stop being sad. I want to tell you what's on my mind. I want to be able to live without you. I want to live with you.

I wish we could give it a go, see if we could be something again.

Thinking of you is easy. I do it every day. Missing you is the heartache that never goes away.      

 I can't get used to life without you, close my eyes, see your face and nothing seems to ease the pain. And I just can't get through these nights without you. Close my eyes, see your face, I only have myself to blame.

 At first you think it’s great you’re talking to him again, but then you start talking about things that happened before, bringing back old memories, and then you realize how much you really miss him and you get to thinking you really want him back, but you remember he doesn’t need you like you need him, and it hurts.

Moving on is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard. 

The hardest part is waking up in the morning and remembering what you had been trying so hard to forget the night before. 

Strength isn't about how much you can handle before you break. It's about how much you can handle after you break.

No matter how much you force a compass to point where you want, it will always point north when left alone. Here I am alone,and all I do is point towards you.

I finally realized this is never going to end, everytime he talks to me those feelings come right back.

It's just another lonely night staying up too late, thinking too much, and missing him way too much.

I keep on running and nothing works. I can't get away from you now. I keep on ducking you and nothing helps. I can't stop missing you.

I gave up trying to figure out what it means when you look that way.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you are there, in everything I am, in everything I've ever done, and looking back, I know that I should have told you how much you've always meant to me.

Wounds heal faster if you don't risk constantly reopening them.

I hate how being just friends is good enough for you. I hate how you joke around just like we used to. I hate how you just go on like it doesn't hurt you.

I just don't get it, what am I to you? I know I'm not just a friend and if you think that then you're lying to yourself.

The days are cold living without you, the nights are long. I'm growing older, I miss the days of old. Thinkin' about you. You maybe gone, but you're never over.

I just hope you miss me a little when I'm gone.

Your worst battle is between what you know and what you feel.

I love this. It's like from the moment we see each other, there is constant laughter and sarcasm and commentary.  We never run out of things to talk about, yet sitting in silence is just as good. I'm completely comfortable with you. You're different. With you it's like an automatic haven. I feel fully and completely safe with you. Oh, and this stupid smile that's always across my face, thats a plus too.

I know I'm to blame, but it kills me to know that I made you hate me, like you've erased me. And I know what they say, they say you'll be happier, better off without me. and that kills me.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________

love,


mojo

i'm just livin

Don't be careless, just care less

I guess I'll ignore what I feel. Somehow I'll have to try and deal. I just have one more thing to say. I hope you realize what you missed some day.

I'm looking for the slightest sign that you miss what you left behind.

Everything is different now. Why are you so distant now? Everything has changed. Yeah, nothing is the same, Since the day you went away, nothing feels at all okay with me.

He taught me how to trust myself. He taught me how I should love every flaw. He taught me that no matter what, I should just make the decision and jump and not regret it.

I want to be with someone real. Someone who never has to pretend and who I never have to pretend around. Someone who's smart but knows how to laugh at himself. Someone who would listen to a symphony and start to cry because he understands that music can be too big for words. Someone who knows me better than I know myself. Someone I want to talk to first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Someone I feel like I've known my whole life even if I haven't

No one knows about you and me. No one knows how much I cared about you and how much I still do. No one knows about all the secrets we shared and all the good times we had. No one knows how all these thoughts of you still haunt me every day. No one knows and no one will ever understand why I can’t get over you.

I just wanna feel okay again. Everything that's happened lately has been stretching my strength to it's very ends. I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I feel like I'm drowning, literally. I've been fighting this current for so long and I have been fighting desperately to stay at the surface. But now, all I wanna do is give up. Someone please rescue me?

Everyone tells you that you deserve better, but no one is willing to give it to you.

I am incredibly awkward and negative. I get attached easily and I hold on for too long. I don't like opening up to people. Most five year old children can express their feelings better than me. I hide behind my fake smiles. I'm probably one of the most difficult people you will ever meet. But I can be sweet. I'm a great listener. I'll guard your secrets with my life. I will never judge you based on your mistakes and I'll love you as much as I can. I can be, if you let me, one of the best things in your life.

I miss that feeling. The feeling you get when you have someone in your life you can tell things to. A person that you can tell all your hopes, dreams and aspirations. Knowing that they are truly listening. The feeling of a person who wants to talk to you, because you are you. The feeling of a friend.


Nobody knows the real me. Nobody knows how many times I’ve sat in my room and cried, how many times I’ve lost hope, how many times I’ve been let down. Nobody knows how many times I’ve had to hold back the tears, how many times I’ve felt like I’m about to snap but don’t just for the sake of others. Nobody knows the thoughts that go through my head whenever I’m sad, how horrible they truly are. Nobody knows me, and thats what I hate the most.

Don't lose yourself in attempt to hold on to someone who doesn't care about losing you.

Sometimes you just need to be alone. Sometimes not even your best friends need to know. Sometimes you just need to put up the walls so you can examine yourself in the peace and quiet. Sometimes the loud sounds need to fade away, leaving only the silence and you. That's it.

People hurt me, criticize me, turn their backs on me, time and time again. They kill me slowly, and then ask me what my problem is.

We refuse to see how bad something is until it completely destroys us.

When you finally realize you don't matter at all to someone you begin to wonder if you matter to anyone.

Life is your professor, know that bitch is gonna test you.

And after all of this, I’m still confused. I’m still not sure how I feel about you. I’m still not sure how you feel about me. I don’t know if you ever cried over me, like I cried over you. But one thing I’m certain about is, I will never find another you.

She has feelings, she has a heart. In fact, she probably has the biggest heart among all the girls you know. Because although you’ve given her nothing, not one reason for her to be around, she’s still there. And someday, she won’t be anymore.

You’re gonna realize you miss this.

I act like shit don’t phase, inside it drives me crazy.

Sometimes the person who tries to keep everyone happy is always the most lonely person, so never leave them alone because they will never say that they need you.

So let’s drink to memories we shared, down one for all the hopes and cares. Here’s two for being unaware that you’re gone because before too long you’ll be a memory.

You never know what you have lost 'til you are standing in a room with that person not being able to call them yours.

We stopped checking for monsters under our beds because we realized they were inside us.

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.

Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response.

It's hard to look for something new when what you want is right in front of you.

What makes some people important? It's not just the happiness that you feel when you see them, but it's also the pain you feel when you miss them.

You see, the same one I'm missing is basically the reason I became something different.

I'm not saying I'm the nicest. I just live life like it.

I try to be nice, I really do. But sometimes all I want to say is screw you.

I don't necessarily want to be happy, I just want to stop feeling miserable.

Maybe my face doesn't light up when I see you anymore, but my heart still does.

I can take on as many classes as I want and go out every chance I get, but there's still always room for you in my mind.

I know that I should just let go, walk away, and not look back. But I don't think I could handle knowing that you wouldn't care if I did.

I don't care. And I'll keep telling myself that until it's true.

I sit here and wonder if you will ever understand just how much of me belonged to you.

And sometimes, I just feel so alone.

_________________________________________________________

it's finals week!!!! YAYYYYYY!!!

3 days of finals, 3 days off, NEW JOB/INTERNSHIP, NEW HOUSE, summer classes :(
school's ending and starting basically at the same time, but there's SOOOO much excitement in my life right now. i cannot wait!

love,


mojo

just a small town girl

p.s. i'll post some text later, promise ;)

love,
mojo